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During sex, some people with vulvas experience the involuntary emission of fluid. This has become known as “squirting” or “female ejaculation”
Medically Reviewed and updated by Dr.Deyn Natthakhet Yaemim, 31 May 2021
Admit it: any time you hear the phrase “We have a squirter!” you’re either watching that one scene from I Love You, Man, or you take it to mean some lucky gal is having the best orgasm of her life.
Just goes to show how little you know.
“The first time I squirted, needless to say I was a little alarmed,” explains one woman. “Since then, I’ve personally only been able to do it when there was penetration involved. I heard all these stories about the ‘wonders of the clitoris,’ and I thought that I was doing something wrong because I didn’t particularly enjoy the feeling. When I finally let go and did what felt pleasurable is when it first happened. The intensity just kept increasing, and it kind of hit a plateau before I squirted. I tensed up (which I would later find helps the process along quite a bit), then I found myself completely sated.”
The reason this woman, along with many others who’ve experienced it, felt so dumbfounded by the process is simple: squirting (much like its sister, the female orgasm) is shrouded in mystery.
“It’s nothing that anyone knows a lot about," says Sex MD Madeleine Castellanos, "because it’s not taught or thoroughly explored -- at least not in medical school. There are of course general things that apply to everyone, like nerve endings and arousal -- but the 'how to' varies so much from person to person.”
In the interest of the greater good, Dr. Castellanos agreed to go deep on the subject. Here’s everything you need to know.
Ejaculation is a small amount of fluid secreted from our urethral glands at the time of orgasm. For some, it happens consistently in orgams, and others just when they’re really aroused in orgasm -- but it’s always orgasm-related. Squirting, on the other hand, can be orgasm-related or not at all.
When you see a woman squirting on a video, you can't always tell that it's coming from her urethra and not her vagina. And sometimes, porn stars fill their vaginas with water and then squirt it out. And that’s why people get the wrong idea that squirting comes from the vagina rather than the urethra. They’re so close to each other, and I have people swear up and down all the time it comes from their vaginas. And it can feel that way, since there are lots of nerve endings that are similar in the urethra and the opening of the vagina.
But no, anatomically squirting does not work that way. Think about it like when you hurt your neck, and you may feel it in your shoulder too. That doesn’t mean it’s where the pain is actually happening.
You can have an orgasm in your sleep without even touching yourself. And if you take all of porn to be your measuring stick, then that’s a whole other problem.
So basically, teaching yourself to squirt is learning how to relax a certain set of pelvic floor muscles while pushing up on that area in the G-spot, and opening up that angle, and then allowing yourself to relax enough to out with the bladder at the same time. Eventually you will just sort of learn those steps, and your brain will record it as muscle memory -- and then you associate that with tremendous amounts of arousal. And voila, you’ve learned how to do it.
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